Of the 17 readers who answered our survey, eleven said they were impressed – or even surprised – by how simple and fast the divorce process was in Sweden. One, an Indian chef in Gothenburg, said it took just two weeks to complete.
All that is required if the both parties have agreed to divorce and if they have no children is for an application to be sent to the local court, using an online form accessed using BankID.
Several respondents praised the process as “fast, impartial, efficient and rules-based,” as one American in Stockholm put it.
“Everything is digital and straightforward,” agreed a female scientist from India. “If both partners agree on custody and divorce, it’s pretty easy compared to my native country. You don’t need a lawyer or go to court.”
Another American, a Volvo executive, added: “You can do it over a cup of coffee with your spouse on a Saturday afternoon, online even.”
Many contrasted Sweden’s efficiency with more cumbersome procedures back home.
Irina, a software developer in Stockholm, called it “super convenient” compared to her home country, where, she said, authorities “do everything to make the process as hard as possible to keep divorce statistics low.” She particularly appreciated not having to appear in person.
“No need to face my ex once more to finalise the process.”
A divorced Indian father working in IT described his home system as punitive: “One partner can stall the proceedings for months or years to punish the other… Kids almost always go to one spouse regardless of age, mostly the mother.”
Almost too fast and efficient
For most respondents, the speed and simplicity were positive, though a few worried it made divorce too easy.
"I don’t think it makes sense to add trauma to trauma by making divorce so hard, like it generally is in the US," said an American man based in Stockholm. "I think it’s good that the state kind of just lets you figure it out, kids notwithstanding. I don’t mind state support for this or that, but making people stay married is madness."
But some people complained that the the simplicity of the process in Sweden weakened the institution of marriage and made couples more likely to divorce.
"There is no accountability. It is so simple, just posting a piece of paper signed by both parties. It makes marriage look like nothing," complained a woman from Malaysia.
"It's almost too fast and efficient," agreed the Volvo executive from US, who was on balance in favour of the system. "It reduces the institution of marriage to a mere transaction ‒ like it is a merely temporary condition, like you are almost expected to get a divorce some day."
Overall, he added, Sweden's process was "simple and practical without a lot of legal haggling" but was at the same time "almost too cold and efficient", which he suspected ended up enabling divorces.
Cooling off period can be a problem
One Canadian reader had the opposite complaint, arguing that the cooling-off period Sweden imposes on couples with children had in his case been difficult to manage.
"The one year waiting period due to having my son was a nightmare. During that time, my ex-wife was unbearable, doing as she pleased in regards to my son (i.e. unexpectedly taking him from day care unbeknownst to me and keeping him overnight, despite recommendations from Social Services that she not have him for overnight visits."
"Because we were in that limbo period of one year and shared custody still, there was absolutely nothing I or anyone else could do about it."
Too little emphasis on reasons for divorce
An Indian woman, who otherwise welcomed the speedy procedure, said she felt there was too little emphasis on providing counselling to those affected, apportioning blame, or chasing up abusive partners.
"In my country, when we apply for divorce, the court actually listens to both sides and also provides a counsellor so that they can work on the relationship," she said. "If that’s not happening then yes, it would be divorce. In case of abuse, there should be actions taken."
The Malaysian woman said that she missed this sense of accountability and the requirement for a physical appearance.
"Normally, there is accountability for why the marriage had to be dissolved, e.g. infidelity. Then there is an appearance in court. So it is more of an emphasis on a union that was sanctified by law," she said. "I think the fact that it is so easy to divorce is the reason people do not take marriage seriously."
The Indian chef also said he was also surprised that there was no point in the process where the couple had to explain the reasons why they were getting divorced.
"I know Sweden has the highest divorce rate but no one wants to know what's the cause," he said. "It could be useful to understand."
Not a taboo
It wasn't only the legal and procedural aspect of divorce in Sweden that readers appreciated, but also the way it was so accepted socially and culturally.
"It's not seen as a taboo or as a failure,"said a British psychotherapist based in Malmö. "It's generally accepted and respected that people are allowed to change their minds and can step out when something is not working for them."
“If one partner does not want to be part of the partnership, then it is not worth having two individuals together," said the Indian man. "Nobody can force anybody to stay with a partner.”
Gender equal divorce
The second aspect of divorce in Sweden readers brought up was how the system treated both men and women the same, with a 50:50 division of assets, 50:50 custody of children and, as a rule, no alimony payment expected.
"I do like how the process treats men and women equal, as opposed to in the US," said the American Volvo executive. "That there's a 50:50 equal split of assets. In my country men are forced to pay the woman alimony and child support even if the man was not the main breadwinner!"
"It's very old fashion in the US ‒ it assumes the woman did not work or was the weaker sex who needs to be supported by the man."
Several women, however, complained that the difficulty women face in getting alimony and child support payments, had left them in a precarious financial situation.
"The law is not equal for foreign women," complained a day care teacher from the UK. "I had to work part time in the UK after our children were born. We moved to Sweden for my ex-husband's career, and I was a stay-at-home mum as he travelled a lot."
"The system still favours men," she continued. "Our children live with us equally, and under Swedish law my ex-husband, who earns over 700,000 kronor more than I do per year, isn't obliged to pay child support. I have had to retain a lawyer to help me, yet my ex is drawing out the process."
She also pointed out that despite not having been able to build up a decent pension due to being a stay-at-home mother, she was not entitled to a share of his.
One reader said he had had an unpleasant surprise when he realised that, despite not being married, his partner was entitled to half of the property he had bought in Sweden.
"I didn't sign a sambo contract when we moved in together and she then tried to steal half of my investment in the house," he said. "Without a sambo contract you can lose a lot of money."
Why divorcees can face residency issues
Other readers pointed out that divorcing in Sweden can mean one partner loses their right of residency in Sweden, bringing serious unexpected consequences.
"I was a co-applicant with my spouse but had to apply separately after he left Sweden," said a researcher from Russia. "My application was rejected and now I am in the middle of an appeal even though I have a permanent job and pay my taxes. I also lost seven years of progress towards my permanent residence permit and the whole process has restarted."
As her partners' assets are all in Russia, she said she feared that even if she manages to stay in Sweden, she will struggle to get support.
"I am not sure how the process will look since my ex has no assets in Sweden, only in our home country. I am not sure how they are going to claim the alimony from him since he does not plan to co-parent."
"Women are completely unprotected and screwed if they were dependant from their husband's visa," she added. "Sweden is proud of supporting gender rights, but the reality is far from ideal."
Foreign partner often worse affected
The Malaysian woman said she felt that foreign partners who had come to Sweden were much more impacted by divorce than their Swedish exes.
"You left your country, friends, job, home, family to come to start a life, married to a Swede. So the foreign partner has everything to lose, while the Swede just goes about his or her day as usual and has their network of people that will support them."
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