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LANGUAGE AND CULTURE

Seven of the best cheesy chat up lines in Spanish

Valentine's Day is fast approaching, and although the coronavirus means it may not be the best time to be dating right now, there's no reason why you shouldn't brush up on the lingo you'll need to woo a Spanish sweetheart for when the time comes.

Seven of the best cheesy chat up lines in Spanish
Photo:AFP
Hace calor aquí? O eres tu? (Is it hot here? Or is it you?) 
 

Photo: Leo Hidalgo/Flickr
 
In the heat of a Spanish summer, this may be the perfect key to open the lock of that Spanish heart you've been trying to conquer. Try taking off your shirt or wearing your bathing suit to make the line doubly effective!
 
Si la belleza fuese delito, te hubiera dado cadena perpetua (If beauty was a crime, you deserve life in prison)
 

Photo: Minh Son Phan/Flickr 
 
Life in prison may not seem like the most romantic thing to wish upon your would-be lover, however this is sure to make them believe that you'd at least spend your confinement together. After all, you did just call her beautiful.
 
Crees en amor a primera vista? O vuelvo a pasarte otra vez (Do you believe in love at first sight? Or should I walk past you again?)
 

Photo: Victor Bautista/Flickr 
 
If you just spotted someone who caught your eye, ask them if they felt the same way or if you should try walking by them again… if they don't catch you the first time, perhaps cupid needs a second chance.
 
Perdona, sabes dónde está la tierra? Porque desde que te vi ando en las nubes (Excuse me, do you know where the earth is? Because since I laid eyes on you my head is in the clouds)
 

Photo: Hadi Zaher/Flickr 
 
You're not trying to tell her that your skies are cloudy because of her, so make it sound as if she has dreamy effects on you and hopefully she’ll get the message.
 
Tu papa debe de ser pirata, porque tu eres un tesoro! (Your dad must be a pirate, because you are a treasure!)
 

Photo: Scott Smith/Flickr 
 
Not that you ever want to insult her dad (or any member of her family, as a matter of fact), but telling her that she's a treasure will sure make the two of you shine!
 
Hola, te pareces mucho a mi próxima novia (Hello, you look a lot like my next girlfriend)
 

Photo: Kyle Steed/Flickr 
 
Spanish women hate their men talking about their past girlfriends, but talk to her as if she was the woman of your future and you might just be on to a winner.
 
Como se siente al ser la chica mas guapa en esta habitación? (What does it feel like to be the prettiest girl in the room?)
 

Photo: Anne Worner/Flickr 
 
This will make any Spanish woman blush. If you want to exaggerate the effect, try calling her the
prettiest woman in the world by saying “como se siente al ser la chica mas guapa del mundo?”
 
By Olivia Mathieson

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SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY

Spanish Expression of the Day: Pintar la mona

That’s right, there’s a saying in Spanish which literally translates as ‘paint the monkey’, and it’s got nothing to do with simian art or the Mona Lisa. 

Spanish Expression of the Day: Pintar la mona

Pintar la mona is a Spanish expression which basically means to be doing nothing, to be bored or to be of no use in a certain situation. 

It’s a bit like saying that you’re twiddling your thumbs, to be neither use nor ornament or sitting idle. 

It’s usually used in the present continuous – pintando la mona – and it’s worth remembering that it’s a colloquial expression, but not offensive. 

Other ways of saying it in Spanish can be the more standard no hacer nada (to do nothing), sobrar (to not be needed) or the more vulgar tocarse los huevos (touch one’s balls). 

So what are the origins of this bizarre expression? Does it have anything to do with painting a simian portrait or chucking a bucket of paint over their head? Or perhaps the mona is a reference to Da Vinci’s Mona Lisa?

La Mona is actually a card game in Spain, a game of pairs to be precise where La Mona is the only card which doesn’t have a pair and the losing player ends up with it in their playing hand. 

There’s also the word pintamonas, which either describes a poor quality painter, or a person who is of no great use but pretends the opposite.

Another related expression is to dormir la mona (something along the lines of ‘sending the monkey to sleep’) which actually means to sleep off a hangover. 

So the next time you’re in a situation in Spain where you’re not serving any purpose and might as well go and do something else, remember the expression pintar la mona.

Examples:

Aquí estamos pintando la mona, así que mejor nos vamos.

We’re of no use here, so we might as well leave.

¡Deja de pintar la mona y vete a hacer los deberes!

Stop sitting around and go do your homework!

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