The most common and embarrassing French language problems laid bare by Twitter
So anyone who has been a French language learner will know that it doesn't always go entirely smoothly, and sometimes you end up confused, confusing or just downright mortified.
We all have our own personal horror story of the time we got some French very wrong - often revolving around that cruelest of false friends excité (let's just say that it does not mean excited in the sense of you're looking forward to meeting the new boss).
But it may comfort learners to know that at least they are not alone in this, and the Twitter hashtags #frenchproblems #franceproblems and #frenchlanguage have been laying bare the sheer scale of the confusion that exists out there.
Now tell me the worst language to ever learn ? #frenchlanguage #lalanguefrançais #frenchproblems #French pic.twitter.com/sNdtzALwxY
— BISAYA SA PARIS ? (@marchelleguezet) July 16, 2019
Le or La? The need to get your genders right for French nouns leads to all sorts of problems and mockery, even when you are rightfully complaining about your issues with France as this tweet below reveals.
I challenged a guy yesterday for letting his dog shit in our street. When I later told my wife what I said to him, she mocked me for getting the gender of shit wrong #franceproblems
— Mark Hayes (@BranchyTree) March 10, 2018
Here are a few of our favourites, from mishearing words, mispronouncing something crucial to the knotty social problems like using tu and vous that are blissfully absent in English.
Of course the simplest error is getting the word totally wrong and saying something wildly different to what you actually wanted to convey.
I asked evanson for gum and he gave me an eraser #frenchprobs
— Suzie Sawicki (@SuzieSawicki) April 19, 2017
The French word la gomme might sound like it means chewing gum, but it actually means eraser.
Accidentally saying you eat lawyers for lunch when you actually mean avocados #FrenchProbs
— Z (@durhamsboat) March 11, 2016
The word avocat can, confusingly, mean both a lawyer or an avocado in French. Hopefully the context will help you decide which is which.
Kyle "okay what are we doing?"
Johnny "going upstairs to rape the cheese"
Me: ....
Johnny: .....
Johnny "omfg I meant shred. Sorry I'm french, in french rapppé"#frenglish #lostintranslation #ooops #frenchproblems
— GFMBOtt (@GFMBOtt) March 17, 2019
The French verb râper means to grate, which is why you often see bags of fromage râpée in the supermarket. The French word for rape is violer.
Then there's the pronunciation, which can be a minefield for both Anglophones speaking French and French people speaking English.
Everytime I try to say “G’day” like an Australian I sound like I’m saying “Guidé”. #FrenchProblems
— Sof (@LeFrenchAccent) February 1, 2019
Tried my French yesterday spoke to @DragonsOfficiel supporter said congratulations turned out I said mushrooms #frenchproblems
— Rick Hartley ??⚽️ ?? (@RickHartley64) August 26, 2018
This rugby league fan was presumably trying to offer his congratulations to Perpignan based club Catalan Dragons, the current holders of the Challenge Cup. But the French word for champions - les champions - sounds very similar to les champignons - the mushrooms.
In French sometimes a word is more than just a word, sometimes its about conveying social status as well.
When someone who is almost your age vousvoies you #frenchprobs #toomuchrespect pic.twitter.com/WPvuLRB9wO
— Grace (@gibbyguthrie) November 14, 2016
I just used a tutoiement with my neighbors who I don't think I'm on that level with yet #ouch #frenchprobs
— Kaleb Knowlton (@kaleb_knowlton) October 25, 2016
The words tu and vous both mean you, but while tu is informal and used for someone you are friendly with or someone who is significantly younger than you, vous is used as a mark of respect and is considered polite with someone who is either older or who you don't know very well. (See below for a handy flow chart explaining further).
#frenchproblems when you say « Salut » at someone and they say « bonjour » back.... pic.twitter.com/H0UluFaV0I
— Angus Hughes (@gusgus9876) July 31, 2018
Similarly, salut is informal and should only be used with people who are friendly with, while bonjour is more formal. If you're trying to be friendly and get a bonjour back you can consider yourself snubbed.
And speaking of the word salut, it can sound like another word in French Salaud, which means "bastard". Don't mix them up. In fact there are many French words that sound the same and you really don't want to mix them up. Cou (neck) and queue (slang for penis), par example.
Omg I just tutoyed a stranger in the supermarket by accident and I wanna die #frenchproblems #frenchspeaking
— Sara (@sararoebuckx) January 3, 2018
Then there's that old favourite, the French numbering system which has been baffling English-speakers for decades.
I laughed so hard. #frenchprobs pic.twitter.com/ULfzO5lmva
— Cat Wilhelmina (@catwilhelmina) October 4, 2015
#Frenchproblems pic.twitter.com/V6p3Wtdakt
— Ramille (@Cam_vssr) September 29, 2017
And finally, don't assume that French is going to be the same in all Francophone countries
So I started working in Quebec, and my French is no bueno. Turns out I keep pronouncing my "que"s like the French word for #ass #frenchprobs
— Bereas Sailing (@ProCdnAuDigger) August 5, 2017
PS If you're still confused about the tu/vous issue, someone also tweeted this handy explainer which will at least give you a laugh as you wrestle with the problem.
This is so good ?
Not just funny, also accurate#FrenchProblems #Algorithm
???
???????
???????????????????????? https://t.co/TUXBMj3Cs9
— Liv Lawe Davies (@LivLD) June 8, 2018
Comments (2)
See Also
Now tell me the worst language to ever learn ? #frenchlanguage #lalanguefrançais #frenchproblems #French pic.twitter.com/sNdtzALwxY
— BISAYA SA PARIS ? (@marchelleguezet) July 16, 2019
I challenged a guy yesterday for letting his dog shit in our street. When I later told my wife what I said to him, she mocked me for getting the gender of shit wrong #franceproblems
— Mark Hayes (@BranchyTree) March 10, 2018
I asked evanson for gum and he gave me an eraser #frenchprobs
— Suzie Sawicki (@SuzieSawicki) April 19, 2017
Accidentally saying you eat lawyers for lunch when you actually mean avocados #FrenchProbs
— Z (@durhamsboat) March 11, 2016
Kyle "okay what are we doing?"
— GFMBOtt (@GFMBOtt) March 17, 2019
Johnny "going upstairs to rape the cheese"
Me: ....
Johnny: .....
Johnny "omfg I meant shred. Sorry I'm french, in french rapppé"#frenglish #lostintranslation #ooops #frenchproblems
Everytime I try to say “G’day” like an Australian I sound like I’m saying “Guidé”. #FrenchProblems
— Sof (@LeFrenchAccent) February 1, 2019
Tried my French yesterday spoke to @DragonsOfficiel supporter said congratulations turned out I said mushrooms #frenchproblems
— Rick Hartley ??⚽️ ?? (@RickHartley64) August 26, 2018
When someone who is almost your age vousvoies you #frenchprobs #toomuchrespect pic.twitter.com/WPvuLRB9wO
— Grace (@gibbyguthrie) November 14, 2016
I just used a tutoiement with my neighbors who I don't think I'm on that level with yet #ouch #frenchprobs
— Kaleb Knowlton (@kaleb_knowlton) October 25, 2016
#frenchproblems when you say « Salut » at someone and they say « bonjour » back.... pic.twitter.com/H0UluFaV0I
— Angus Hughes (@gusgus9876) July 31, 2018
Omg I just tutoyed a stranger in the supermarket by accident and I wanna die #frenchproblems #frenchspeaking
— Sara (@sararoebuckx) January 3, 2018
I laughed so hard. #frenchprobs pic.twitter.com/ULfzO5lmva
— Cat Wilhelmina (@catwilhelmina) October 4, 2015
#Frenchproblems pic.twitter.com/V6p3Wtdakt
— Ramille (@Cam_vssr) September 29, 2017
So I started working in Quebec, and my French is no bueno. Turns out I keep pronouncing my "que"s like the French word for #ass #frenchprobs
— Bereas Sailing (@ProCdnAuDigger) August 5, 2017
This is so good ?
— Liv Lawe Davies (@LivLD) June 8, 2018
Not just funny, also accurate#FrenchProblems #Algorithm
???
???????
???????????????????????? https://t.co/TUXBMj3Cs9
Join the conversation in our comments section below. Share your own views and experience and if you have a question or suggestion for our journalists then email us at [email protected].
Please keep comments civil, constructive and on topic – and make sure to read our terms of use before getting involved.
Please log in here to leave a comment.